When we part with someone we love, our emotions are raw. There is often pain and confusion too. But you can make it through – often we’ll need to make a few shifts in our thinking though.

There is certainly a journey to go on to get your ex back.

And although your question right now is “What can I do to get my ex back?”, it is probably more a time to look at what NOT to do, rather than what should I do to get my ex back.

There is a plethora of information out there about addressing the question “What should I do to get my ex back” but one of the best things to keep top of mind in this time of break up is:


That’s to both your ex, and yourself – whether you feel it is deserved or not. Kindness goes a long way if you are truly looking to get your ex back.

Chances are you may also be a little preoccupied with the break up right now – and that’s normal.

Here are some points to help you through this tough time and help you answer the burning question…

What should I do to get my ex back?

Like I said earlier, for the moment it will be more about what NOT to do, than what TO do.

1. Avoid games.

Don’t start them, or get involved with them.

Unfortunately these ‘power struggles’ can rear their ugly head during a relationship break ups.

One or both partners may feel a lack or loss of power or control and begin playing games to get their sense of power and control back.

An example may be one partner pretending to begin a relationship with someone else to get the other jealous. If you think this through, you will be able to see that this can backfire in so many ways.

It may feel good for a moment but ultimately it leads to more strife. And it puts any hope of reconciliation of further back so avoid games at all costs if you want your ex back. Stay authentic and true.

2. Avoid being mean.

It is very normal to feel anger and confusion in this time.

You may be harboring some animosity toward your ex for the way in which they have hurt you.

Again this is completely normal. However, you’ll want to do all you can to work on forgiving them so you avoid any mean outbursts.

Any outbursts you have will only delay any chances you have of getting your ex back.

You’ll find some great strategies inside the “Plan” inside this web site to help you manage these very normal feelings.

The “Plan” will help you navigate your way through this tough time and give you every chance of winning your ex back.

3. Ask yourself how you contributed to the break up.

How have you been acting? Put yourself in your ex’s shoes for a moment then ask yourself – how would you be feeling if you had been treated in the exact way you have treated them?

Were your frustrations causing you to raise your voice or speak with contempt towards your ex?

We need to become the person they fell in love with. Easy to say – not so easy to do when you’re overcome with emotion.

Again, you’ll find more detail inside the “Plan” (home page) that will give you clear steps for managing the emotions that go with a break up, and specific answers to the question “What should I do to get my ex back?”

4. Work on being the person they fell in love with.

Question: “What should I do to get my ex back?”
Answer: Work on being the person they fell in love with.

Remember the qualities that attracted them to you initially?

That’s what we need to be working on and improving.

But before you call your ex and try and tell them you’ve changed, or that you’ve had an amazing revelation; make sure you follow the “Plan” first or your call could go horribly wrong – only to set you back further.

As you can see, the above points are really just a starting point to answering the question “What should I do to get my ex back?” – there is a journey and a process ahead – but you can make it!

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